halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
