I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
