I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
