i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
