ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish you could order shots online.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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