but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
