i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
