Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
