My liver just broke up with me...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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