She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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