She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
