You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
