I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
