I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
