hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize