the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
