I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
