Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
as a side note pls kill me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize