I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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