Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
