Pappa wants mamma naked
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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