Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
should my penis look like a turkey
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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