why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
