their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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