You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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