I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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