You just made me feel so damn special
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
