The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You are the jesus of drinking
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
