You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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