This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
