my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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