She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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