It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
