we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize