does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
