I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
