I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
