Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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