Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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