I want to have your abortion
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
