You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His hands were made for my vagina.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
