Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How external is "for external use only"?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
