This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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