She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
