But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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