I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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