so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
