Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
