TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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