At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
