got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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