I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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