Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
