its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
