Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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