The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
