just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
